Judy's Top Ten Lists
Top Ten Pet Peeves of Barnabas Collins
- That awful portrait of me at Collinwood.
- Women I don't want are always falling in love with me.
- I get chained in a coffin for 170 years, I finally get out in
the 20th century, and all of a sudden there's a democrat in The White
- Having to go through that echolocation stuff when I'm a bat.
- Worrying about what Julia may be doing to me during the day when
I'm in the coffin.
- The feeling that people are making fun of my name behind my back.
- Roger's pompous, fake accent.
- When I can't get someone I'm trying to hypnotize to look into my
eyes, because they're too busy staring at my hairline.
- Losing my fangs when I'm in the middle of biting a girl.
- The agonizing fear that someday capes WILL go out of style.
Top Ten Little Known Facts About the Residents of Collinsport
- Barnabas failed his driving test three times before he got
- Shortly after leaving Collinwood for the first time in 18
years, Liz flew to Vegas and nearly lost the house playing blackjack.
- Roger once tried to bribe his way backstage to meet Grace Slick
at a Jefferson Airplane concert.
- Tom Jennings always had a deep seated feeling that he ought to
be a werewolf and he didn't understand why he wasn't.
- Barnabas had a TV hidden in the basement of the Old House.
- Willie once flunked out of cosmetology school.
- Once, the thought of getting a job crossed Carolyn's mind.
- When Julia signed prescriptions she dotted the "i" in
her name with a smily face.
- Professor Stokes? Gay as an I Ching wand.
- That night in Martinique was not Angelique's first time.
Top Ten Reason the 1897 Storyline Wasn't Really All That Great
- It went on too long
- It was boring in the beginning
- Too many Trasks
- Jamison was obnoxious when he was possessed
- Magda's accent could get on your nerves after awhile
- Same deal with Charity/Pansy's accent
- Tim Shaw had a really bad hairstyle
- Garth Blackwood was a real disappointment
- The scenes of Quentin on the table under the pendulum didn't
linger on long enough
- (For the men): no miniskirts; (For the women): no chest hair
Top Ten Remarks Made by People Watching Dark Shadows for the First Time
- Which one's the vampire?
- I thought this show was supposed to be scary.
- What, didn't they have editing in those days?
- Man, that's a short skirt she's wearing!
- What is a "governess" anyway?
- That tall guy would be really good looking if it wasn't for
those ridiculous mutton chops.
- Do they actually think she looks like that portrait?
- I should think a person would actually be bleeding more after
receiving a wound like that.
- That bat is really fake looking.
- Isn't there ever any sex on this show?
Top Ten Dark Shadows Unlikely Couples
- Roger and Vicki
- Julia and Willie
- Gregory Trask and Magda
- Magda and Quentin
- Quentin and Aristede
- Beth and Jamison
- Angelique and Josette
- Maggie and Ezra Braithwaite
- Elizabeth and Sheriff Paterson
- Count Petofi and Mrs. Johnson
Top Ten Signs That You're Obsessed With Dark Shadows
- You let cobwebs accumulate in your house because you like the
- You've developed a sort of fake English accent.
- You've had 3 seances in the last 5 days.
- You suddenly don't trust any of your relatives anymore.
- You've started calling the doormat at your front door
- You keep telling your significant other that you don't want
them to love you unless they do it of their own free will.
- In restaurants you order your steak "bloody."
- Yesterday you put a curse on a driver who cut you off, but
now you regret it.
- You find yourself saying "I don't understand" more
- You've been drinking an awful lot of sherry lately.
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